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This blog post is going to seem more like a rant because my thoughts are racing right now...
Bare with me,
While I pose a question...
Do You Know Your Worth?
Like......... REALLY know your worth?
And an even better question?
Do you VALUE yourself?
Hey fam-lei!
Lady XO here!
It was recently brought to my attention by the man upstairs; a few revelations that he felt necessary to share with the world...
I asked these two questions to start the thought process of deeper self evaluation.
So take your time to REALLY THINK about your worth...
What are you saying to yourself?
Oftentimes, we are harder on ourselves than other people are...
You'd think we'd be able to handle any and all criticism and comments on our character because we're our own worst enemy, so what could ANYONE possibly say to us that's worse than what you already say to ourselves???
But we crack...
We become bruised by hurtful comments and actions because; to some capacity, we believe the things people are saying...
Using myself as an example,
I used to tell myself, "I'm a good mom... I'm a good wife... Etc."
Which is the "politically correct" mantra to say to yourself.
But I couldn't have possibly believed those things...
Because the moment that my kids said I was a bad mom, or my husband said I was a bad wife...
It HURT ME!!!
You're thinking... Of course that would hurt ANYONE right?
But no...
It only hurts because I somehow; if even a little bit, believed I was those things.
In reality.
I am an AWESOME mother and an AWESOME wife and just because (at the moment) someone I care about doesn't think the same thing...
It doesn't make it any less TRUE...
Because I don't just KNOW my worth but I began to VALUE myself.
And that's the difference.
When you KNOW your worth AND value yourself, you don't second guess yourself anymore.
Take this analogy...
Two ladies are walking down the street...
Someone yells, "MOM!"
One lady turns around and looks for the sound...
Being that she is a mother, she knows they could possibly be calling for her...
The other woman, knowing that she isn't a mother doesn't turn around at all and keeps strutting on down the street.
She knows that the person calling for their mom, couldn't POSSIBLY be calling for her...
She is NOT a mom!
One lady knew she was a mother and stopped...
The other knew she wasn't and kept walking...
In essence,
If you truly know your worth, it's like knowing your name...
You can't be slowed down or distracted by people calling you names you KNOW you are NOT.
Like "bad mom"
Or "bad wife"
If it hurts when people say things to you about you, think about the reason why...
If I wake up tomorrow and my husband starts calling me "Bob", I'm not going to answer to it because my name isn't Bob.
Nope.
I'm probably going to make him an appointment to see a psychiatrist because I'll think he went bat shit CRAZY but...
I'm not going to be HURT by it...
So why do we get hurt when people say things about us?
Unless we believe those things they say?
Because we DON'T KNOW OUR WORTH and value ourselves.
One can not be without the other...
You can say that you're a good mother by all accounts, you've done your best.
But to KNOW it in your heart that you ARE is truly taking that worth and valuing it...
Because when you pick up a $100 bill...
And you KNOW it's a $100 bill...
Nobody can trick you into believing that it's just a $1 bill...
So why do we let people trick us into believing our worth is less?
Are we fools?
Were we fooled?
Think about it...
Why would ANYONE want to make you believe a $100 bill is a $1 bill in the first place?
Because THEY KNOW ITS VALUE!!! And they want to TAKE it from you!!!
They know if they convince you that the bill in your hand is a $1 bill, they may be able to convince you to give it to them!
They become richer...
Because they were able to convince you that you were less than what your worth is...
Please hear me...
The people in your world who SPEAK down on you or say hurtful things,
Don't TRULY believe the things they are saying about you...
Actually...
They believe the OPPOSITE!
But they don't know how to admire you without feeling like they are LESS...
They actually LOVE YOU!
THAT'S WHY the people who love you the most say the most hurtful things...
Because they're NOT.
We only THINK they are...
If I were walking down the street and some random stranger says "Hey, you're a slut".
You may wonder if they were on crack, but knowing your sexual past and that you're NOT, in fact, a slut,
It wouldn't HURT OR BRUISE your heart...
But let your mom walk down the street and in the same manner, say, "Hey, you're a slut".
It would HURT you badly because they LOVE you?
Why wouldn't we laugh instead?
Why isn't LAUGHING not our trained response to NAME CALLING?
When you know your worth... IT IS!
What's important is how this affects your relationships.
When you don't know your worth, you lash out and often respond to negativity impulsively...
And that impulse reaction is usually defensive...
Standing defensively, is still standing in attack mode...
And you respond in a way that ATTACKS others in an act of defending yourself...
Which ruins your relationships.
When you know your worth, your marriage can't suffer.
Because you can't be hurt by your partners actions.
Like pooping... Though somewhat unpleasant, you will begin to realize that mistakes are just like the shits in life you have to take.
Necessary. Unpleasant.
But EVERYONE is going to make one EVERY day!
Most of our mistakes are small and unrecognizable...
Like when you walked out the door without your keys, but you stopped and went immediately back in for them...
So if everyone makes mistakes, why do we charge people so HARSHLY for making theirs?
If your husband cheats on you...
He made a mistake... And you will react by throwing away 20 years of a marriage over one indiscretion?
Why does it hurt when someone is unfaithful?
Because somehow we have allowed OUR WORTH to be defined by that person...
Why don't we just walk off?
Why don't we just say, "well that was stupid of you..." and just give our worth to someone who values it?
Or better,
Why can't we first forgive and move on?
Like we forgave ourselves for walking out of the house without our keys?
And we allow that mistake to hurt us and make us think we are less?
We shouldn't...
And we need to stop...
I'm not saying to leave your husband...
Or banish your kids...
Eau contraire
I'm saying LEAVE YOUR WAY OF THINKING
And BANISH self sabotage...
And watch how the people around you start valuing you MORE!
Simply because you placed a better value on yourself...
Because money is only PAPER with a dollar sign printed on it.
Notice how people treat $100 bills with care but all the $1 bills get thrown around and wrinkled up?
Print a $1,000,000 sign on your proverbial forehead and watch how everyone around you starts treating you like a million bucks-
Because YOU believe in your value!
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