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HWNL | Transgressions in Marriage

Table of Contents

  • What is a Transgression?
  • Transgressions in Marriage
  • Working "IT" Out
  • Finding the Love Again
  • Healing

What is a Transgression?

To those of us who aren't more "biblically-eloquated", a transgression is just another term for a crime or offense in your Webster Dictionary. I choose to use this word when speaking of marital and relational offenses because after researching the word, I found it to have two very REAL and different meanings.  

With the Latin definition of transgression meaning, "the act of crossing over"...  Or stepping/passing over...  

A REVELATION was given to me...

Transgressions in marriage are "offenses" in which are meant to be "stepped over"...

Let's face it...

Everybody goes through something.  This is no different in marriage.  

As a matter of fact, I believe people have this absolutely idiotic idea that marriage means the END of all your hearts suffering and on to a blissful state of never-ending eutopia.  

Ummmmmm.  No, hunnay!!! ๐Ÿ˜œ

Marriage is simply having a Jack or Jill to go up the hill with!

Understanding that we are all going to have those proverbial "hills" in life in which we all have to "pass/step over", God gives us a partner to hold hands with on the way.

Sometimes it's holding hands in "merry"...  Other times, it's holding ON in "tarry"...

Either way...

Bay-bay!!!  We're FETCHING that pail of water!!!

If we have to push/pull each other up this thing; you bet your life, we're going to fetch that thing TOGETHER!

Transgressions in Marriage

What type of transgressions will you encounter in marriage?

As much as I wish I could "Ms. Cleo" an answer as to what particular kinds of tests you will endure, I cannot...

Each marriage is different.

Some marriages suffer from infidelity.  Some, from financial hardships.  Some lack passion, or peace or children...

No matter the height of the hill you're climbing, you can bet these two things to be true:

A)  That there WILL BE HILLS to climb!

B)  And each hill will be different!

(Orrrrrrr did you think that you married Jesus?)

And that this man/woman is NEVER going to make a mistake?

And that your life would be the PINTEREST picture of perfection after marrying your spouse?


You DID think that, didn't you???

๐Ÿ™Š Oh, honey!!! ๐Ÿคญ

Bless your ❤️ heart ๐Ÿ’›!!!

Working "IT" Out

What the heck is "IT"?  

WHOOOOO the heck is "IT"?

And WHAT do we have to work out???

In a relationship, you will find two perfectly imperfect people trying to build this "picture perfect" life and then fit each other in like a puzzle piece that can NEVER change shape or it no LONGER FITS the greater picture of the puzzle!


We are an ever-evolving species, we humans are...

We never stop changing...

By natural process, from the time we enter this world we begin growing and evolving into the adults we are to be...

And then we keep aging and our hair color changes and then we ridiculously believe that once we get married, somehow this lifelong evolution process STOPS???

And she is going to be the SAME bubbly, doe-eyed, twenty-something-year-old that she started out.

Or him; the chiseled-body, verile, romantic prince he once was...


We get older and have physical aging that happens.   

Now, we don't like to cuddle at night because menopause gives us hot flashes.  And he needs a little blue pill to get him going during love making.  (For example)

But the fact that he needs help to get an erection doesn't mean that he's not attracted to you and you don't do "it" for him anymore...  it just means he's getting older and has blood circulation issues of some kind.

And SHE, STILL loves you...  she's just going through hormonal changes that makes her hot at times and makes her push you off of her at night. 

These are but two examples of REAL life issues that happen all the time in long-standing marriages.  

But we will take things to extremes that we don't understand is SIMPLE evolution and if we were to only trust that person's love, we would not get offended as we do.

Finding the Love Again

First of all, STOP thinking there is something WRONG with your marriage!  If it's been ordained by GOD then he makes NO MISTAKES.

This is the FIRST thing we need to understand...

Now that's been said, you simply need to look within to find your "je ne sais quoi" again...  (As the french would say)

The way that you CHANGE a situation is you have to first CHANGE your perspective in order to see a different way of approaching your spouse.


All too often, we as a society will just trade in a car that's been good to us for years just because it starts making a sound.

However, if you were to do regular maintenance on it, and upgrade it, we would find that in time a car well cared for becomes a vintage model and appreciates as opposed to other cars that depreciate in value.

So...  You got you a mint condition 67' Chevy Bel'Aire all juiced up in your garage?

And it's just SITTING THERE collecting dust, huh???

Well...  ๐Ÿค” You're a different sort aren't ya?

Because I would be out polishing it up and showing it off!

Do the same in your relationship; go out on a date doing something the BOTH of you wouldn't normally do!

Take your boo out and get polished up, get couples manicures or something GROUPONY like that and just have a GOOD FRICKIN' TIME learning eachother alllllllllll over again!

I mean, you could leave...  Sure...  That's an option.  Go out and get a new-to-you car!

But the problem with car buying is that you don't truly know what's under the hood until you've driven the car for several miles. 

Meaning you don't know who's problems you've just inherited...

Or if the car would even last past a week...

You run the risk of getting a car in worse condition than the last.

And spending a lot of time energy and headache into the process.

As opposed to simply repairing and upgrading the car that you currently possess.

So....  I can have a car that becomes MORE VALUABLE and over time becomes customized to ME...

OR I can go out and get a NEW NOW car that's going to depreciate in value over time and suck me dry of my finances?

Because the truth of the matter is ALLLLLLLLL cars are going to need and require regular maintenance.  If you don't do so, do not be surprised when your beautiful baby starts getting run into the ground.

And likewise; your relationship gets a little rocky...

Until you learn how to become a person who values and performs routine maintenance on your vehicle, you will NEVER keep a car running.

Same goes for relationships...  Until you can learn the value of maintaining your relationship, you will be destined for a life of singledom!


Healing is a power that is God given.

This is important to understand.

Because once you understand the ways that God heals, you will see how to heal yourself.

Likewise, healing yourself is vital in order to HEAL your relationship.

So how; pray tell, did God heal others?

In almost every account of the bible where a healing miracle had been performed, these two things were observed:

First, Jesus SPOKE life into that person (casting out any demonic spirits that are stopping the healing from occuring). 

Then he laid hands on that person.

In other words; he transferred the energy of LOVE to create HEALING...

Believing in His power within, these things He spoke of came to pass.

Through FORGIVENESS & LOVE can all things be mended!

For, in order to be able to love other people, you have to FIRST be able to 

1) Know the source!

Before you can 

2) BE a source!

In order for your proverbial "cup" to "runneth over" into the cup of others in your world, you've got to be PLUGGED IN to a source.

Just like the ocean feeds the rivers which feed the streams!

Contrary to some folks opinion; LOVE is an ever-flowing resource given in abundance!

However, you have to be able to replenish it...

Healing in your relationship begins with healing of YOUR MIND and self LOVE.

Just as God instructs to "Love Thy Neighbor As ThySELF" 

WE CANNOT even begin to LOVE THY NEIGHBOR if you can't ❤️ LOVE YOURSELF ❤️ FIRST!!!

Once again, I am honored that you stopped by to read my thoughts...

If these words gave you any value, I urge you to like and share this with as many people you know!

As usual my Fam-Lei,

It's always a blessing to be in your thoughts!

Thank you for taking the time out to read mine...

I love you all!

Happy Wife, Nappy Life



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