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Interracial Dating | Breaking The Ice


 Press Play to listen to the audio-blog

So there’s a pretty lady at  the gym or work place that you have been wanting to get to know for quite some time now...

Normally; you’re not the shy type...

But this girl is so VERY different than the ladies you’re used to seeing around.

The first notable difference?

She’s of a different race...


Hey Fam-Lei!

Lady XO here!


You're probably thinking to yourself...

Why does this matter?

You’re not prejudiced whatsoever...

But this is the first thing that naturally does pop up in our minds because of our subconscious drive to procreate...

What we don’t realize is, there are these “little guys” running around in the backs of our thoughts and in our spirits that were given this ancient task of “being fruitful & multiplying”, right?

So what happens when these guys see a different color person is; they go back into the “Book of Life” to reference the “mating ritual” of the specific type of species of person they’re looking at...  

Unfortunately; they can’t seem to find a reference to draw from as they do NOT KNOW anyone of that color beyond a friendly level.

In other words; it can sometimes be difficult to make a deep and lasting connection with someone who is from a different background because we simply have never had the experience.

The good news?

Not ONLY is it possible to have the man you want but it is God’s “promise” to us that anything we truly believe to receive through our prayers and the desires of our heart will be granted to us...  

This is true...

However it is coupled with a BELIEF.

Through this BELIEF in Gods love for us; we develop a worldly “confidence” within ourselves that we can have anything we want.

This “confidence” is only one ingredient of the recipe for “getting the girl/guy” of your dreams.

And though it seems cliche to note; it is so only because it’s true...

Without the confidence to come out and speak and be noticed; your dream girl won’t even know you’re up for grabs in the first place.  Therefore you don’t present yourself as a possibility in the first place.

So NOW you’re saying; 

“Okay...  so I have the confidence but what do I do?”

This is where a bit of finesse comes into play...

If you know NOTHING about this person then you have to GET TO KNOW this person...

Which means you have to speak to them...

So how do you break the ice?

___________________________________________________


Obviously this person is on your radar because you’ve seen them before - so take some context clues from your encounter and draw conversational points from it...

You know you’re not going to be labeled marriage material on initial encounter so relax...

No need to probe for any hard questions...

Asking simple ice breaker questions can help you get to know someone well enough to make a second encounter even more memorable than the first...

This is what we want... to make each encounter as memorable as possible.

You want them to wonder WHY they’re thinking about you so much; 

And this is just ONE strategy -

Always leave them with a cliffhanger ending and familiar beginning.

In the beginning of a conversation;

Begin with a familiar beginning...  Meaning, if you work the same job or go to the same school, reference something of common knowledge or happenstance.

If you both recently went to the same staff meeting or school assembly, use a talking point reference from it.

Remembering that positivity is attractive, you will want to speak something positive from the experience such as:

[Familiar Beginning]

Hey (Always Use Their Name)!

I heard them say that we were all going to be required to wear uniforms now?  Haha!  I'm just glad that I don't have to fret over what to wear everyday! [Cliffhanger Ending] What you think? 

In this example,

We use the person's name because that indicates familiarity.

Even if they don't know you, they will second-guess themselves because you know THEIR name indicating that somehow YOU know THEM.  This subconsciously tells them that you two have somehow met previously.

Most people, out of politeness will either apologize and say they don't remember you or go along with the communication as though they do...  Hoping to draw context clues from the current conversation.

Either way, you're job here is simply to break the ice until the next conversation.  Again, leaving a cliff hanger ending...

You don't reveal anything personal about yourself in this first conversation even if asked by the other person...  

Beyond visible curiosities (For example: you're the one of a different race and they ask you what race you are...  That's a VISIBLE and OBVIOUS personal detail that is okay to reveal.

Too personal is revealing that in your heritage, wearing a flower in your hair is a sign of fertility.

Or some weird, "Did I ask you THAT?" type of response...

Now - RECORD the conversation in your mind to have points to reference from it...

For example, if something they said made you laugh, you now have a NEW "inside joke" to be able to pull out as a point of reference.

For instance, I asked "What do YOU think?" in my cliffhanger ending... 

Let's just say they said, "well as long as they don't get to pick out our underwear too!"

And you both shared a laugh...

NOW the next time you see them, you can be witty and say something like:

"SOOOO....  ____insert_name_here_____, did you wear your designer underoos today?" 😆 Akekeke

(Okay, I hope you're more charming than me...  But corny is good too! Just be your genuine self!)

This new conversation-starter leads to a new CONVERSATION with even more clues to their personality and points of reference for the next conversation and so on and so forth...

Now pay attention...

The next time you see them, if they don't engage in conversation with you FIRST; record their reaction in your mind...

Do they wave politely when they see you and pass?

Do they wave enthusiastically at you and stop you to say hello?  

Do they ignore you when you wave at them?

All of these are second-conversation indicators and are necessary to knowing how to approach your next conversation.




Read more about Interracial Dating | Getting The Digits in our next post!

Until then!


Love you all FAMLEI!!!


✌️TWO-DOZE✌️


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