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It's such a pretty thought...
Isn't it?
Someone to love you no matter what you do?
Or...
As we say here in the south -
Someone who loves your "dirty draws and all"!
Eew...
I mean...
AWEEEEEE!!!
But the truth about unconditional love is that finding it is actually anything but PRETTY...
Wait... What???
Let me explain...
The unfortunate part about loving someone UN-conditionally is that in order to learn how deep their love is; you have to:
1) Push a boundary that hurts that person in a major way THEN
2) That person has to FORGIVE you and THEN
3) LOVE you ALL the same...
WITHOUT a condition attached to it...
THUS why it's called UN-conditional love.
They love you when you're at your BEST and when you're at your very WORST.
I mean,
They love you no matter how old...
Or grey...
Or fat...
Or sick...
Or poor...
Or mean you get...
( And yes, regardless of how many teeth are still in your head... 😜)
We all need someone like that.
For alot of folks; that candle can only be held by their mama!
Shoot... MOST of us won't allow even our CLOSEST of kin to disrespect us!
I'm talking... Siblings, parents, cousins...
ALL ties can be cut "in a hot minute" if the wrong circumstances arise!
(Y'all forgive my island-country grammar. I just LOVE the colorful ways we talk here in Texas! 😜)
Anyway...
Back to the subject.
So...
How do we keep from losing our closest relationships?
And...
How Do You Love Someone When They Make It Hard?
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Our kids are a perfect example of people who push us to our limits, yet still receive our unconditional love...
And what exactly do kids DO to receive such affections?
Well, you know... They just:
Yell at you...
Throw things at you...
Pee on you...
Tell lies about you...
etc.
And yet we will still love them!
We will still cook and care for them!
And they don't even help pay bills!
OR
Give you physical pleasure!
OR
Fix the car!
OR
Do ANY of the things that our spouses do!
Instead, we will treat our spouses as though they DON'T deserve HALF the patience that our kids get!
I think God made kids cute so that we wouldn't kill them like we do our spouses!
Which leads me to my ultimate point...
Visualize your spouse as one of your children...
(No... This does NOT mean to go grab a belt and spank them when they make you mad... 😜 Although I know some of my readers might actually find that fun. 😳)
I'm saying that when your infant woke up screaming at night; you never ran in there angry and cursing them for disturbing you.
Instead, you interpreted their loud & INCESSANT hollering as "cries for help" and rushed to their aid.
In your subconscious, you've grown a natural tolerance...
Understanding that your child is only hollering because they simply lack the knowledge of how to express themselves.
Why can't it be that simple with our spouses?
Why is it that when they yell or upset us; we can't just interpret it as a lack of knowing how to express themselves to us?
Why can't we rush in to hold them when we see they are upset?
Because they need us too... They need our patience and love just as much!
BUT
You're saying - "They're not my baby! And they know better"!
Well... the truth is,
They aren't perfect...
And this post isn't about treating your spouse like a child...
It's really about how nurturing you truly are...
Can you nurture and love your spouse through the same eyes that you nurture and love your kids???
Most of us have more unconditional love for our dog than we do our spouses...
Can you protect their heart even when they make it hard?
Practice makes perfect.
If you want to know ways of how to do just that; check out our next post on how to love, in spite of...
Until NEXT time Fam-Lei!
We love you!
Happy Wife, Nappy Life!
✌️TWO-DOZE✌️
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