Skip to main content

Unconditional Love | How To Love, In Spite Of...




It's our jobs as spouses to protect the hearts of our loved ones.

To nurture them...

In doing so; The HARDEST PART

Is forgiving someone for a hurt they NEVER apologized for.

"Sometimes in life we have to learn to accept an apology in which we never receive to manifest the understanding that we've always wanted".
~Pastor CJ Allen~

We tend to have an unbending, almost animalistic protective nature when it comes to our kids but when it comes to our spouses, it’s different.

You would quite literally die for your kids.  

And though we like to believe that we would do the same for our spouses, the truth is...  

We can’t even handle the painful words our spouses dish out during conflict, nonetheless take a bullet to the chest!

So...  How do you kill your pride, bite the bullet and be the BIGGER person when tensions are high?

Keep Your Peace, Draw the line!



Ladies, I don't mean to go out hollering at your husband with your hand on your hip saying, 

"I'm drawing the LINE! I have had ENOUGH!" 😜

No...

John 8:1-11 talks of a time in the bible in which a woman was caught in the act of adultery...

Her punishment?  To be stoned by her people...

Long story short, the Pharisees and the people harassed Jesus asking him what they should do with her?

And JESUS; through all the chaos, just kept drawing a line in the sand before him...

With all the peace and patience of the Father in the flesh; He spoke to the people and said...

"Let he who is without sin, cast the first stone"...

Truth is...

If you're reading this, you've probably hurt your spouse too...

Whatever argument you are remembering right now hurt them too!

If we are to model our hearts behind Christ.  Should you cast a stone at the one you love?

KNOWING that you, too, are not perfect either?

And that; at some point in your marriage, the shoe will be on the other foot...

And it will be them holding the stone?




Jesus love for us is a story of the ages...

Known through generations as the oldest running and most inspiring storybook ever written!

Gotta be for a reason, right?


Practical Applications


Okay...

You're saying...  

"Well that's all fun and games but what things can I actually do in my life; in the middle of chaos, to keep the peace"?

You need some, what I like to call...  

Practice Training Exercises


When my spouse is angry, I forgive him for his wrong against me by going about my NORMAL day!  

Not only do I ignore the tantrum that just took place but I kill that spirit with JOY!

Basically... 

I do the same daily routine only NOW I am doing it singing all through the house!

With overly-demonstrated INTENTIONAL joy!

And no...

You’re not going to feel like doing this.

You’re going to be mad...

Heck, y’all just got into a fight.  Who walks around smiling and singing after something like that?

We do.

Because we know that we have a choice.

To be angry or be at peace is completely and utterly YOUR decision! 

You're patience is your ministry...

When you do this, you subconsciously give permission for the other person to the same...

To give up on the spirit that is trying to keep them "in the fight" against you...

It's kind of like, "monkey see, monkey do" of the spirit realm...

They see you, in all of your exhorbant jolliness...

 


And it's like an invitation for their little girl/boy to come out and play too!

So put yourself in a happy place.



In your living room...

Put on a comedy that always slays... and put it on loud as you can stand it but loud enough to resonate through the house...

And LAUGH...

Laugh like you've NEVER SEEN the dang show before!!!

In your bedroom...

Put your wedding song on repeat on your bluetooth speaker and hide the phone!

And LEAVE to another room...

In the kitchen...

Bake some cookies, or make something that smells the WHOLE house up...

Then leave them out for them to eat...

In the laundry room...

Wash your blanket.  

(Has to be the blanket because they smell up the room, feel amazing fresh out of the dryer and I don't know a single person who doesn't absolutely love the feel of fresh linens.)

Then put it on the bed...

And leave...

All of these things are ways to hug someone without actually being in their physical presence.

You appeal to all of their senses and remind them of you through each one...

Through your wedding song...  You appeal to his auditory memory that links the song to your wedding day.

A hug through sound...

Through the blanket, you appeal to their tactile memory, and remind them of the warmth of you both under the covers on a lovely evening...

A hug through touch...

Through the smells of the kitchen, you remind them of your presence in it and ignite their olfactory senses when they eat...

A kiss through food...

Sound crazy???

It's worked for me...  

And what's even cooler about this... 

Technique, if you will...

Is that it actually trains your spouse to not begin a quarrel with you in the first place...

Not that they are bullying you but it's hard to be mean to someone who is so annoyingly happy.

(I keep imagining it looking ALOT like me slapping a Tele-Tubby for some reason - don't ask 🤷🏻‍♀️)


Anyway Fam-Lei...


I hope you like this "love-hack" of sorts and that it helps keep at least ONE Happy Wife in this Nappy Life!!!

Until next time!  I love you!


✌️TWO-DOZE✌️


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

My Mom Is My Hero | Our Interracial Love Pioneeress

I watched an episode of "Red Table Talk" where my favorite iCarly star, Jennette McCurdy revealed her struggles stemming from an abusive relationship with her mother... Seen here... https://fb.watch/fqZAPAoEyf/ And it got me to thinking about my OWN relationships with my daughters and my own mom... No fam-lei... My mother was NOT abusive whatsoever... Quite the opposite. But like many of my readers, I, Happy Wife, have suffered abuse at the hands of a parent before.  (A step-father) Had it not been for my mother, I would not have graduated from that "School of Hard Knocks" with such flying colors... She is my HERO in life and I want to pay her homage in this blog posting today. So here's to you MOM... Because it doesn't have to be MOTHER'S DAY to get your flowers... To my kids, she is "Mama T"... But to my husband and I, this is MAMA... Since this is a blog about interracial marriages and relationships, I wanted to first point out t

Is It Over? How to heal past PAINFUL MOMENTS in marriage.

Press play to listen to the audio-blog Hello fam-lei! I come to you today a bit more sullen than usual... If anyone is out there reading these blogs, please pray for me... Sometimes marriage isn't just hard, it's downright TOXIC-feeling. There are these "make or break" moments that you will come to that will test every shred of patience, loyalty and FAITH in God that you possess... Times where you begin to wonder if the other person is the same person you said I DO to at all... Times where you have to LITERALLY weigh the good and the bad and make a hard decision... Do I stay or do I go? I thought that I knew what my breaking point was... The point in which I would say AUTOMATICALLY "I would leave if they did this ________ no questions asked." But I suppose when "unconditional love" is a factor in your boundaries; your boundary lines change and the saying "Love knows no bounds" starts sounding like less of a fairyta

Nightime Revelations | Knowing Your Worth

Press Play to listen to the audio-blog So... This blog post is going to seem more like a rant because my thoughts are racing right now... Bare with me, While I pose a question... Do You Know Your Worth? Like.........  REALLY know your worth? And an even better question? Do you VALUE yourself? Hey fam-lei! Lady XO here! It was recently brought to my attention by the man upstairs; a few revelations that he felt necessary to share with the world... I asked these two questions to start the thought process of deeper self evaluation. So take your time to REALLY THINK about your worth... What are you saying to yourself? Oftentimes, we are harder on ourselves than other people are... You'd think we'd be able to handle any and all criticism and comments on our character because we're our own worst enemy, so what could ANYONE possibly say to us that's worse than what you already say to ourselves??? But we crack... We become bruised by hurtful comments and